My List of Deadly Sins that Will Make Me Want to Toss Your Book into a Mud Puddle

So y'all know that I am a little bit of a hot head with a love for the soapbox.

But did y'all know that there are some things that just make me want to throw a book into a volcano, wall, or mud puddle?

Let's get into it.

1.  The "I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding." line.

Look, alone this sentence wasn't bad, telling instead of showing? Yes, absolutely. A bit lazy? Also yes, but it is so cliche. Every young adult novel seems to have this line in it somewhere, and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

Stop. Please stop.

2. The "I'm not like other girls" MC.

"I'm not like other girls," -says every other girl.

I'm so done with girl characters constantly putting other girl characters down, why are we promoting this toxic behavior?

"I'm not like other girls, I'm sooo klutzy! And I don't wear makeup! And I'm not a slut! And I'm DiFeReNt tHaN aLl tHesE bAsIC gIrLs !!!"

Also, if your character and all of your side characters have to constantly tell me and point out that they're different and how they're unique... maybe they aren't really? Most of these current girl main characters are as stale as week-old toast, and I don't think lacking in personality makes you a good sort of different, tbh. 

3. Abusive relationships a.k.a. Bad Boys. 

I honestly, like the bad boy trope, I think it can be done well and I personally love reading about a gruffer guy with a secret heart of gold who came from a harsher past, BUT as I pointed out in my bad boys post, these bad boys aren't just gruff, they're abusive.

They're emotionally manipulative, dangerously possessive, stalkerish, and even in some cases really rapey. In summary, red flags GALORE.

And it's not cute, not mysterious, it's unhealthy and gross. Stop promoting bad behavior in novels. Stop romanticizing unhealthy relationships in novels.

4. Bad lines.

This is self-explanatory honestly. But for example here is a line from a book that I read that was GOLD for all the wrong reasons:

My pee lasts for thirty-two seconds. My record is a hundred and seven. I wonder if you count your pee. We never talk about this stuff, but we should. Bathroom habits are fascinating. When you get back, I expect answers about all things bathroom related. -This is Not a Love Letter by Kim Purcell

I laughed so hard when I read that, I ended up with tears streaming down my face, and then I set this book down and thought for a good second on what YA is coming to if now we have characters counting their bathroom seconds. 

But although I didn't like this book, several reviewers called it "relatable", which maybe it wasn't for me, but it also makes me paranoid because one shouldn't be able to relate to that... ew. 

5. This kind of goes with no.4 but it is Slangs.

"OMG", "LOL", "LIT", etc. 

If you have side characters saying these words unironically 24/7, I'm going to assume that you're:

a.): fifty, haven't talked to a teenager in years, and lost your memory of being a teen because of something traumatic (if so, I'm sorry, but please for the love of cheese and crackers, talk to a few teens before writing them, surprisingly we aren't /as/ simple as we seem. 

b.): A poor person who had been locked up in their parent's tower with a typewriter and no connections to the outside world except for a TV that only lets you watch daytime television. 

c.): That you're trying to be "hip" and "in with the kids". 

Listen, not only will an overuse of slang drastically date your novel as the years go by, but no one will take anything seriously.   

6. The "Loser virgin" trope.

Why is it in every coming of age novel (especially one with a main guy character) we just have to push this one to the brink?

There are so many pressures for teenage guys and girls in the real world and we have to add this one in books as well? Seriously, Hollywood already has all of us thinking that if we don't lose it by sixteen we're losers, but now books have to push it as well?

There is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex until you're emotionally ready, for me that is marriage because I believe that is the way it's supposed to be, but as a general thing if you're dating someone sex should not be the expectation, if so, dump them. They are clearly are only using you.

It just really disturbs me that these middle age authors are writing sixteen and seventeen-year-old teens jumping into bed together after like one week of knowing each other and then calling it "love".

Once again, NOT a healthy relationship to promote!!

Step on a lego, y'all. Seriously, may you always mistake raisin cookies for chocolate chip cookies.

7. Also kind of part of no.6, detailed sex scenes.

Why. This wasn't needed, this is what the erotica genre is for, not the YA genre.

8. Insta love.

HA! More like insta lust, stop calling thinking people are hot "love".

9. An overuse of adverbs.

Bad writing, in general, is not something anyone wants to read, but an overuse of adverbs in fiction is what really makes my eye twitch. This is partly because I have taken IEW writing courses for almost all my life and we are encouraged to stuff our stories full of adverbs, and in essays, it's fine, professional even, but then they make us do it in fictional stories we write in that class.

It took me a while to realize not to overuse adverbs in my stories outside of that class, it really hindered and hurt my writing for a while. Sometimes I read indie books by homeschoolers and I can tell that they took/take IEW.

Example of  an overuse of adverbs using a snippet from my story and adding them:

“I’m so tired of people feeling sorry for me!” I angrily say as I get out of her car.

“Alex, wait-” Kavya calls unhappily. 

I snarl bitterly, “No!” Throwing the book down. Kavya quickly jumps away, startled. “I’m not your stupid mission, Kavya Patel. I’m not your rescued shelter dog. And I’m not your charity case!” 

So clearly that up there is a complete mess that I need to fix or burn to ashes, here is the improved version where I show instead of tell by taking out adverbs and replacing them with better action and dialogue tags: 

“I’m so tired of people feeling sorry for me!” I slam the car door shut and storm up Mrs. Monir’s driveway.

“Alex, wait-” Kavya hurries after me, arm outstretched.

“No!” I whirl around, hurling the book down. Kavya jumps, eyes wide as the book splays out on the pavement. “I’m not your stupid mission, Kavya Patel. I’m not your rescued shelter dog. And I’m not your charity case!” 

Just please for the love, stop using so many adverbs.

10. The cliche characters. 

The main character is special and different, the love interest is hot, the best friend character is either quirky or secretly in love with the main, gay characters are gay (or dead, because authors don't want to put any effort into them), POCs are POCs, and the bad guy is pure evil. Blah, blah, blah. 

Come on! Nobody is this one dimensional, it's insulting.    

What are some of the things you hate in books?

Happy Writing,