- ̗̀ Finding Good People and Changing for the Better ̖́ -

It's crazy, guys, I didn't know so many things before last month.

I didn't know how I was lost.
I didn't know what my goals were.
I didn't know God.

And among these things, I didn't know so many genuinely good people existed.

I'm not just talking nice, I mean good. People that you meet and feel like you've known your whole life, people who radiate light, people who strive to love endlessly, people who care about you without even having a reason why yet.

People who you can go to.
People who you can look up to.
People that will try to pull you up instead of dragging you down.

Good people.

I thought people like the ones I know now were just a myth of a Christian. I thought the church I love now was just a fantasy.

It wasn't, and I praise God that he led my family and I onto the right path.

And now that I'm here, now that I'm growing, now that I'm learning to trust again, learning to love again, learning how to find peace and joy again, I know what I need to let go of.

For so long I have been holding onto this fear of rejection, the fear that I'll never be good enough and it's closed me off from people because I'm afraid to get close to others because they might not like me or I might disappoint them.

I feel like I am not enough.

And the truth is, by myself, I am not.

Over the years I have become so broken, the choices I've made, the paths I chose to take have led me astray and now I am shattered and scratched.

But I know someone who fixes the broken. I know someone who once made me fearfully and wonderfully, and I know someone who can make me whole again. And I know He has a greater purpose for me and I know that He makes me worthy.

And I'm ready to obey, and I'm ready to live and to walk in life.

The toxicity of the people and place I use around got to me, and now I feel it leaving my system.

I went there to be sharpened, but I ended up being dulled.

I was led astray and fed lies that were portrayed as truths.

And I am so use to cold people, sad people, misled people, disgruntled people, that I've become one myself.

I'm done with that.

I'm done with being so lonely, empty, and miserable.

I am done with being lost.

I don't want to be like that anymore.

The sadness inside me has been vanquished and now I am free.

I don't want to be cold anymore, I want to be there for others. I want to be open, and I want to trust again.

There's still a long way I need to go, and so many areas I need to grow in, but I've come so far in the last few weeks, and that gives me hope.

Sorry for yet another rambling, my thoughts are scattered and messy but I do feel so much happier.

How have you been changing?

Also, a small disclaimer, all pictures in this post are my own! I'm trying to use more of my own photos.